Dear Parents,
We are adults on the autism spectrum before we were children and teenagers. In perspective, we
have come to understand our differences and know what helped and what hindered us in life.
Firstly, we are human beings, secondly only – people on the autism spectrum. There are also parents
among us, so we realise that your child’s diagnosis makes you search for answers to the questions:
„what now?”, „what will give me hope in this situation?”.
Unfortunately, nowadays it is difficult to distinguish the truth from manipulation, hype and the
merciless exploitation of your concern and fear for your own children. Feeling empathy with every
child on the autism spectrum, we would like to share some insights with you. Not all of them will be
easy to take in, but they may save your children and you a lot of unnecessary suffering. These are
the opinions of those most concerned with autism, living with it every day, since birth.
Dear parent, the few truths we would like to share with you are not exhaustive. However, if you
decide to take them into account – you will be giving your child the chance to develop safely.
1.
Autism is not a disease. Autism cannot be cured. Just as left-handedness cannot be cured. By trying
to cure your child of autism, you will make him believe that he is sick. You will cause him or her to
have to struggle with this burden all his or her life. By seeking a cure for autism, you will lose money
to scammers and swindlers preying on parental concern for their child’s well-being. The simple truth
is that 100% of those promising the possibility of a cure for autism are charlatans or their victims
who, in an attempt to justify their actions, will persuade others to embrace the same path.
2.
Don’t delay. If you see your child developing differently, do not delay contacting a specialist service.
Don’t be fooled by the environment, which will convince you that it is still worth waiting. The sooner
you begin to understand and respond to the needs of a child with autism, the better for him or her.
An early diagnosis and the right approach to a child with autism in many cases guarantee an
independent, happy and self-fulfilled life for the child.
3.
A child with autism needs acceptance. Its absence will be a powerful source of suffering for the
child. His parenting will probably not be easy in any case. So don’t hesitate to enlist the help of
therapists and professionals yourself. A happy, accepting and strong parent is a treasure for a child
on the spectrum. Show him that he is worth taking care of himself and his emotional condition.
Would you like him to participate in therapy? Give him an example. Let him see that everyone can
benefit from the support of other people. Without your child’s acceptance, all can be lost.
4.
Vaccines do not cause autism. By not vaccinating your children, you are putting them in danger.
Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar or a victim of a lie.
5.
Diets that 'cure autism’ is a complete misunderstanding. Let your child eat what tastes good to him
at that stage of life. If he develops his senses, he will eat more and more, tastier and healthier.
Although children with autism are statistically more likely to have specific dietary requirements,
these are not a direct result of autism. Just as there are people with autism and myopia, there are
people with autism and gastrointestinal diseases. However, these diseases are not the cause of
autism, and autism itself will not disappear with diet.
6.
People with autism often need support and therapy. Support should include learning to
communicate effectively, also using alternative methods in the case of non-speakers, learning to
cope with social situations and sensory care. Many people on the spectrum have difficulty speaking.
However, all of them can communicate effectively. The sooner you allow your child to use
alternative and supportive communication, the better the chances of developing speech, intelligence
and healthy emotionality. Therapy, on the other hand, becomes necessary when too much
wounding and trauma is created in the vulnerable mind of those on the spectrum. Therapy is about
helping people cope with themselves and their environment, and building relationships. It should
have clear goals, which must be understood and accepted by your child.
7.
Every child’s behaviour is an important message to you. By fighting your child’s unresponsive
behaviour, you are closing his mouth. You forbid him to show his emotions and needs. You suppress
and destroy them. If you ignore the causes of the behaviours that bother or torment you – you
ignore your child’s needs. If you attempt to eradicate them through conditioning – you will
irretrievably lose the human being that your child is. Don’t train. Support. Teach yourself and your
child to understand the reasons for their behaviour. Training does irreparable and often irreversible
damage to the development of a child with autism.
8.
Autism spectrum disorder occurs in different people. There are people with intellectual disabilities
and autism. There are blind, and deaf people with autism. There are people with Down’s syndrome
and autism. With cerebral palsy, genetic differences and more. Each of them deserves respect and
consideration for their specific needs, arising from development on the autism spectrum. They have
enough problems associated with their combined disabilities. Let us not add to their suffering
associated with a lack of understanding. It is particularly difficult for them to understand the social
world, so they deserve exceptional support and parental involvement in finding ways to effectively
explain the reality around them. Remember, children with multiple disabilities are the most
vulnerable to any forceful or disrespectful interference.
9.
Sometimes caring for your child can cause you to surround them with a shackle that prevents them
from functioning independently. As a parent, you have the right to receive help from a variety of
sources, but don’t build your life around your child’s autism. This can lead to a situation that will
jeopardise his or her independence, which, after all, you care about. Never lose sight of the goal,
which should be his maximum independent and happy life. Don’t restrict him so that you can look
after him. Allow him to make mistakes, to which every human being is entitled.
10.
Give your child a sense of security. Do not allow him/her to be hurt. React strongly to all forms of
violence in therapy, education and other areas of life. Any behaviour that causes him fear, pain or
anxiety is not therapeutic. Any of them will become a cause of trauma that your child will face for
the rest of his life. Teach your child that he has the right to protect himself from violence. If you
show him as a child that any harm can be done to him „for his own good” – this is what he will learn.
In the future, he will be easy prey for manipulators, swindlers and anyone for whom violence is a
way of life.
Your child with autism is a unique individual whose mind works differently from most people.
Autistic minds can break down barriers, create works of art, invent, and find solutions that are
beyond the reach of neurotypical people. Help your child develop special interests. Don’t let them be
called fixations, disorders, or obsessions. By doing so, you are destroying your child’s sense of self-
worth. By supporting his or her interests, participating in them, by enjoying your child’s enjoyment,
you are not only supporting his or her development. By seeing the beauty of the interests of a
person with autism, you have the chance to benefit from the fulfilment of being a parent of a happy
child.
This letter is an action by adults on the spectrum aimed at parents of children on the spectrum. The
content of the letter can be distributed through any channel, but we do not agree to any
modification of its content.
Are you a person on the spectrum?
Sign this letter
spread the word freely
help support children on the spectrum
Are you a neurotypical person?
Share this letter wherever you can
on social media
in schools, kindergartens
help raise awareness of autism
